About

Contents:

1. A Site Overview
2. Section A: Laziness: A Soup of two halves
3. Chapter 3: The Realisation
4. Part 5: Toaster Cheffing : The Rules of Engagement
5. Scene 8, Act 4: Terminology: Talk the Talk before you Walk the Walk
6. Halt the Humour: Disclaimer

A Site Overview

• Home - home page.
• Menu - links to all officially documented Toaster-based recipes.
• Extreme - Extreme toasting. View with extreme caution.

Section A: Laziness: a Soup of two halves

Many things are born from laziness. Few of them good. For example a leg amputation may stem from one's laziness in regarding failing to get a minor pain of the toe checked out.

However, the term laziness should not be cowered beneath, for there is a second type of laziness that few know about. Just like Yin and Yan, Dark and Light, and Tom and Jerry, laziness has two halves: the malicious, evil one that lurks within us all and the harmless, fun-loving, work-hating one that lives within students.

ToasterChef is indeed a rare gem, for it was spawned from the good laziness dwelling within our studenty souls. A laziness stemming from a dislike of cooking and/or a fear of large kitchen appliances such as the oven. And also a dislike of eating raw, half-frozen food all the time:

Chapter 3: The Realisation

Our student -and soon to be holy-father- had just prepared a low grade, 15% beef content burger. He decided to go posh and lightly toast the bap that was to encase the meaty pate. Following this, he decided a cheese slice, again of extremely low nutritional value, would boost the taste of the beefy-butty. Though tragedy struck when the combined heat of the burger+baps were not not warm enough to melt the slice. Disappointed, he removed the burger from the bap with the cold cheese slice still half-glued to its meaty corpse.

It was at that point that fate struck: "..hey, that's warm. I wonder if it will melt this cheese slice to my already cooked burger" he thought, peering down into the depths of the fiery toaster before gracefully guiding the cheesy-burger into the warm slot. It was a perfect fit. Time to get down to business. Serious business. He engaged the heating device; there was no going back now. Do or Die.

They say there's a fine line between genius and insanity. I beg to differ. I think that the two exist together, unified as one, each lending a hand to its struggling counterpart when the time arises: like a a toaster aiding the melting of cheese to a burger. Therefore the toaster is genius, thus rendering the oven insane and completely validating the need for ToasterCheffing.

Peace out,

-ToasterChef's Head Chef

Part 5: Toaster Cheffing : The Rules of Engagement v1.01

For a recipe to be approved by the ToasterChef High Council it must adhere to the following rules:

1. The Toaster in use must be a standard issue Toaster - modifications that are ruled as "diluting the true nature of the Toaster" will not be accepted.
2. The item must not have been designed to be solely cooked in the Toaster - ie the square, sugary spawn of Satan that is the Pop-Tart.
3. The Toaster must be the final utensil to be used when preparing a ToasterChef recipe. Some other utensils will be permitted, for example the magnificent Microwave has been known to team up with the Toaster on more than one occasion - this is permitted but only if such use occurs prior to Toasting.
4. The end product must be edible - and at least 20% cooked. Any resulting illness is, in our eyes, seen only as a minor setback in the grand scale of all things foodly. However, in the occurrence of death the recipe may be declared void.

Scene 8, Act 4: Terminology : Talk the Talk before you Walk the Walk.

ToasterCheffing is a science. And just like any other science, it comes with its own terminology - its words and phrases used to describe the intricate working of a skilled chef that standard English alone cannot quite depict. Below lie all currently acknowledged ToasterChef terminology:

• ToasterChef: A chef who favours cooking with his or her Toaster. (Official ToasterChef status must be declared by the high council, though home-dwelling amateurs are encouraged to try also).
• Ready the Toaster: "unsheathe from the cupboard, plug in and be ready to cook!".
• Engage the Toaster: "Turn it on and pull down the handle". An honest phrase for an honest action; I do not have a Toaster fetish. I wish I did, though.

Halt the Humour: Disclaimer

The guys behind ToasterChef.co.uk hold no training or qualifications in cookery of any sort whatsoever (beyond GCSE level cookery class). For this reason, and many others, you should use your common sense before following one of our recipes.

By using the site you acknowledge the fact that ToasterChef is a site of humour and not a cookery resource, and as a result you agree to the fact that you are responsible for your own actions - whether inspired by ideas on ToasterChef.co.uk or not.